Socially Critical Illustrations by Pawel Kuczynski
this trailer still gives me tingles.
"is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?"
Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on technicality…
3 logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks “Do all of you want a drink?”
The first logician says “I don’t know.”
The second logician says “I don’t know.”
The third logician says “Yes!”
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving, and get pulled over. Heisenberg is in the driver’s seat, the officer asks “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know exactly where I am!” The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!” Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now I’m lost!” The officer, now more confused and frustrated orders the men outside of the car, and proceeds to inspect the vehicle. He opens the trunk and yells at the two men, “Hey! Did you guys know you have a dead cat back here?” Schrodinger angrily yells back, “We do now, asshole!”
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.
Rene Descartes walked in to a bar. Barkeep asks ” Do you want a drink?”
Descartes says “I think not,” and poof. He’s gone.
A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: “So, is it a boy or a girl” ?
The logician replies: “yes”.
The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
Entropy isn’t what it used to be
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” He doesn’t react.
Schrödinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day and said “In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However,” he pointed out, “in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.” But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”